Funeral for a Friend

I recently went to a funeral home, paid respects to a deceased friend of the family. During the years I've noticed really dumb things people say at funerals. It's an awkward time when we fish for comforting words.

These aren't them:

Looking in the casket, "He sure looks natural."
Meaning: He looks like he's been dead for three days

"How much did he leave behind?"
All of it.

"What were his last words?"
Probably....GASPPPPPPP

How many people are buried in this cemetery?
All of them.

"He looks good in that suit"
Yea, very stylish for lying in a coffin

What one should never see on a casket:

Be sure to ask about our layaway plan.
Return to Sender
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Contents Perishable
C.O.D.
Some assembly required
In case of emergency break glass
These cushions can be used as a flotation device
Fire resistant