Attention Politicians, The Election is Over - Take Your Signs Down

By Emmett Burnett

Our local elections are over. To the winners we offer congratulations and to the losers, thanks for trying. To all the candidates who ran we ask: Can we have your yard signs?

You’ve seen them, ground staked pictures of politicians. They depict a ‘man of the people’ perhaps with sweater tied over his neck (odd for 96 degree weather) walking down a beach with loving family and flea-less dog. These are political posters.

When the election is over, they are great for garage sales, directional markers, birthday announcements, and sale notices. Simply spray paint over the “Change is Coming to Chickasaw” message and modify Barack Obama’s ‘Something We Can Believe In’ to something you can believe in, like: “For sale, home grown tomatoes.” If indeed you have homegrown tomatoes, the new sign fulfills a promise, which is something 90 percent of those political signs won’t do.

But wait until the election is over. I was informed of environmental advertising alternatives while covering a recent local town council meeting. City fathers were in heated debate over the proliferation of election signage across our land. Considering it unsightly, the mayor threatened to yank them from the ground. As the sign argument progressed a resourceful citizen whispered in my ear “They make good cucumber poles.” “The signs all over town are getting out of hand!” The mayor angrily shouted. “Hundreds are on public property!” “It’s 10 less then he thanks, whispered the citizen. “I got 10 of them in the backyard.” Looks like a good year for cucumbers.

Printing companies are having a good year too. Costs vary for poster sales, depending on quantity, colors, size, etc.; candidates spend $2 to $5 dollars each. Look around, there are thousands of them. No wonder cucumbers are expensive.
Candidates argue that political election sign placement is a once every four year event. The trouble is some stay with us the entire four years and more, long after the person pictured is no longer welcomed. I’ve seen telephone pole advertisements asking your support for Jimmy Carter. Take them down. You either won or lost. Get over it.

Ironically the only refuge from campaign advertising is a 20 to 30 foot circumference around city halls and some voting precincts. If the place these folks will work is a sign free zone, why not the rest of us?

But the election is over. Now is the time for winners and losers to unite. Please take down your signs. Let us once again have unobstructed views of our trees, homes, and children. Start with the really creative ‘poster farm’ I saw – 20 cardboard squares of support planted along a sidewalk, all for the same guy. He lost, but made a good impression in defeat.

Satsuma Mayor William Bush jokingly stated at a city council meeting that he was considering locking illegally placed signs in a city jail cell until after the election. I’m not sure if he made good on the incarceration threat but if so, now is the time to set them free. Cucumbers are in season.